Friday, 4 May 2012

Tuxedo Night

I very much dislike jobs with suits. Mainly I dislike some of the arrogant, conceited, judgmental men that lie beneath them. It may seem like a horrendous sweeping statement, and I very much doubt that all suit-wearers are quite so awful. 

If it's a really nice suit and you pull it off fabulously and offer none of the above characteristics... I forgive you.

To be clear, this is pulling it off...

God bless Barney Stinson for trying to turn suits around.
Other options would have been Justin Timberlake... always a handsome brute!

However, I've had the misfortune of being scrutinised, analysed and looked down upon by several men wearing what can only be described as Daddy's suit. Being creative and striving for a living in the arts really doesn't fall into their well thought out life plans, and they cannot comprehend that I'm happy not knowing what tomorrow will bring, and that I feel life is an adventure - not a to-do list.

I therefore cannot wrap my head around women in suits... why would you do that!? Of all the delightful work outfits you could create and play with... why choose a suit? I struggle massively just putting on a knee length skirt and one million denier tights when I pretend to be a sales assistant for the day.

Now I haven't lost my brain, I'm not going to waste a blog post (and an evening) wondering how to better work an office look. A few years ago my dearest lady friend was attending a Bond party. She didn't want to be just another girl showing up as a Bond Girl, so I suggested she did no such thing and instead went as Bond AS a girl. And I didn't mean throw on a suit. Let's say for the sake of the blog that she didn't chicken out and went head first into the idea and rocked up looking nothing short of awesome and made every girl in the place kick themselves for being much less than awesome.

If tuxedos were invented for women, I think things would've gone a little differently. Next time you head out to a black tie event, wedding party or just about anywhere fancy, consider throwing caution to the wind and give that cocktail dress the boot and get some jaws grazing the floor instead.

Firstly I will say that of course Rihanna and Sarah Jessica Parker got there first on this one...

Also Ann Hathaway's Oscars outfit, but that was a tad on the bland side I felt. Now, I know this has been done before, but I feel us ladies haven't really pushed it over the edge just yet. I don't think it should translate as literally as jacket and trousers with some heels thrown in for good measure.

Now we're getting somewhere! This screams Fosse... I love it.

I'm only going to experiment here with either shorts or skirts. We all know how to wear a fitted, skinny, tapered, or ankle grazing trousers so I'm keeping those away from my top hat and white tie evening!

So, skirts. Too easy? Simple maybe, but so effective if you mean it to be. Here's a set I made for a Nine West competition (unfortunately I didn't win!). The idea only sprung because I was hell bent on getting a blazer and was thinking of every alternative option to wear it with besides jeans! Now I'm so in love with this combination I really wish I had a sequin skirt and a boat load of Mawi jewellery to do it myself!!

Ok, so what about shorts?

By any chance can you see my theory lies in keep it black, keep it simple and accessorise like there's no tomorrow?

I love black and I love gold. Black can so easily look invisible, and gold can so easily look tacky, but when you get it right you really can be a knockout. The hotpants are from Topshop and are the most delectable staple for any alternative going out wardrobe, I've had much use out of mine! The shoes here are just fabulous, the skulls are exactly what this outfit called for to set it off nicely.

I've wanted for a while to experiment with studded collars, cut off shirts and blazers. Here's some top variations and shorts options...

The killer part should always be the shoe...

So there you have it ladies. Keep the clothes simple. Be bold, confident and daring. Over accessorise and find the most ostentatious shoe imaginable (keeping it tasteful of course!) Perhaps even throw on a hat...

I'm now conjuring an event I can wear this look to! 

Perhaps work ;)

Sunday, 19 February 2012


There are a few key textures in my wardrobe that I'll always add to despite current trends:


Leather (whether faux or real)

Fur (likewise)


All of these pair magically with each other, and equally go with any day to day other materials such as denim and chiffon. The best part is, they can all be dressed up or down whether it's to go out for a fancy dinner, afternoon tea, or just a casually fabulous shopping trip...

Today I'm looking at knitwear, as over the last year or so, my friends and I have seemingly bankrupted ourselves in the Topshop knitwear department! Luckily for us Brits, we can wear them throughout winter to spring - possibly summer depending how typical our climate is!

So, although it sounds simple enough - knitwear goes with anything - you still need to choose carefully, as there is a lot of hideous knitwear out there! 

First of all is fit. Generally loose fitting is my preference, that way you can get a slouchy feel whilst paired with certain bottoms and shoes, you can still look wonderfully fabulous and even glamourous if you accessories just right. If you go for a tighter fit just be careful of your're always teetering dangerously on the edge of frump if the item is too bland or the wrong weave or neckline. 

I've created some knitwear outfit sets on 

Casual evening outfit:

Mix a cute pink cropped jumper with an ultra feminine and pretty double layer and length chiffon skirt and heels for a simple but elegant casual evening look. Add some co-ordinating Folli Follie jewellery to compliment the bright colours of the jumper.

Mix up your day wear:
Pastels are going to be huge this spring, and my favourite way to wear knitted jumpers is with shorts, another of my wardrobe treasures. Keep those military boots out because they're still going to look great this year with everything that's pretty trending - the juxtaposition will be a great way to mix it all up. Butler & Wilson jewellery adds just the right amount of sparkle to any outfit and the skull pendants compliment the military boots either side of the girly shorts.

If you're not feeling the pastels this season...

If you're wondering what to do before spring hits in these late winter days, why not stick with the denim but mix a deep red or burgundy with jeans, I love to wear ripped jeans with my knitted jumpers as again it makes a good combination of shabby meets chic! Add brogues and roll up the jeans a bit to show a sneak peak of ankle in anticipation of those warmer days!

This is all just my style, mix up knitwear however you fancy. I can't leave the house without throwing on a lot of jewellery... I feel naked without it! But again, that's just me, it's easy to rock the knitwear look without it.

Stay tuned for my next few blogs on the other texture pieces in my wardrobe and how to wear them to any occasion!

If you like any of the items you see here, find all the sets and details of the items on my polyvore page.

Thursday, 9 February 2012


Right. In every day life there's a hella lot of things that piss me off, I'm just that kind of person. Clothing errors are just one! 

With this post, I'll start with the


Not just the visible panty lines but more the fact that people don't seem to realise that there are a thousand different shapes and sizes of underwear for women because there are thousands of different shapes and sizes of shorts, trousers, skirts and dresses.

Breaking news folks: ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL

I'll begin with the basic VPL error: the too-tight trouser with the basic brief...

Now although this isn't the worst VPL scenario there is, she still probably should've double checked the rear view before she left that morning. Please give a double salute for the two Major Errors in our presence. For starters those jeans are white. Second, they're far too small. When your jeans become the rolls of your skin I'm sorry to say... they just don't fit. Skinny jeans or not. Take them off! As for the underwear, although it's not hideously offensive she could have easily avoided any underwear eyesore after getting better fitted jeans either by donning a thong or some French knickers - I often like the happy medium that seems to be a cross between the two. You might not think it but those Frenchies are versatile little buggers. Due to the lace edging, the seams often vanish under jeans and trousers. Always check first though, a thong may work better (just make sure you perform the crack test as I'll mention later in the post).

French Knickers 


French Knicker Thong

All £4 each or 3/£10
at Topshop

These can also all work for tight shorts, however if they're looser you could always opt for the plain and simple hotpant brief...

Again, all £4 at 

I realise some people reading this may feel condescended - I apologise. However, the daily eyesores I endure inform me that far too many ladies in this country are completely unaware of these minor fashion mishaps. I'm here to help I really am.

Ok, so here's where it gets more complicated. We don't all wear jeans and trousers every day (thank heavens). So what about the almighty return of the legging? It wasn't so much of a problem until we all got brave enough to shorten our tops...

I'm not usually one for celebrity bashing, but Kelly Brook... get your game face on, girl!

Thongs are usually the biggest problem with cotton leggings, let's be honest ladies, as fashionable as they are right now, our arses are the fattiest part of us - them's the rules! If we hadn't chosen to be such a lazy species we may not have evolved to have such cushioned behinds, but we have - so let's not make matters worse for ourselves! You name it, I've had a thong in the wrong leggings reveal it to me - dimples, cellulite, wedgies - the lot! I don't know about you but if I had all that going on back there, I wouldn't be in a hurry to show everyone on the high street. If the leggings are thicker and a bit more sturdy then a thong should work fine. If not, try wearing some seamless briefs.

Sometimes though, we just need to use our brains a little and just take a second to figure out if what we're about to pull off as trousers really are leggings...

In the case of this lovely lady, she did not pass such a thought.

...and I've seen this Major Error in the white version as well... more than once!

I don't have an image to support my next issue, although last summer was what prompted my little underwear lesson when I couldn't go 5 minutes without seeing an out-of-shape bum being wedgied to the core by some palazzo trousers. Yes, they're lovely, and yes, they're great for the larger woman and the tall and skinny alike, HOWEVER - please please please please please stop wearing them with thongs!!!! It is completely unnecessary. I don't care how free you feel, there is a point where you can be too free flowing in public, it's just indecent! The best thing about palazzo trousers is you can wear any goddamn piece of rubbish underwear you like with them - just not thongs! They're baggy and loose and you will never see a seam as long as they fit you well. I'm begging all of you, take heed, wear some briefs, avoid the wedgie because the arse in front of me always seems to be showing crack.

And while I'm on the subject of mis-worn thongs, give a second thought the next time you're about to don that short, floaty skirt.

My last point isn't so much an underwear issue, but one way to resolve it is with the correct choice of control pants. Here I present every woman's nemesis, the muffin top:

Now, although I can't see her from the front, she doesn't look like an overweight girl, which is why I've chosen this example instead of the hilarious muffin top eye-candy that google has to offer. Short of a few ab twists and crunches, this lady could have solved her problems with two things: better fitting jeans and control pants. Yes, they were invented for a reason, and although I'm very pleased to say I've yet to need any, I'm sure I'll embrace them when I do. A lovely pair of seamless, high-waisted control pant shorts would provide a delightful overhaul for this problem - and they even work wonders under the right leggings!

That's it from me for looking at lady's bums for now, I hope someone can learn something tonight, and tomorrow I'll see one less thing to unnecessarily get me in a grouch!


Monday, 6 February 2012

Gillian Zinser

Gillian Zinser

I'm going to start light. Talk about clothes and fashion for a while. I'll leave the heavy stuff and overwhelming opinions and thoughts for the 2am idle thumb nights.

Gillian Zinser, actress, one of the more natural beautied lovelies Hollywood has to offer these days. If you recognise her it's probably from the new rendition of 90210. No, she doesn't look like your average Californian boob job killing her soul crying out for fame for fame's sake kind. That's what I like about her, because in spite of the mainstream wealth wearing styles you generally feel you ought to aspire to, this girl's got it going on - and in a wonderfully modern boho kind of way. 

And I hate hippies! So she's got to be doing something right.

Above are 3 images from last year's ad campaign for American Vintage, oddly a French clothing company that finally enabled us lot on our little island to buy from their website. Expensive basics but I really like the casual cuts and waver thin fabrics they offer. 

I think what appeals to me about her is that she's mixed pretty and alternative and created a harmonious balance between the two (something I subconsciously strive for myself). Here, the messy top heavy bun, casually defined eyes and ice lolly pink lipstick above the most platonic, non slutty showing of a breast bone I've ever seen, just makes you want to grab your bikini and head to the beach for a couple of hours' worth of that natural tan that no, won't wash off in 2-3 days.
Just a couple more to really drive my point home... 

That's one way to wear a vest without looking like a dyke... sorry ladies don't mean to offend but it's time to face facts - not everyone can pull of a tight tank, no matter how many of them we see in shops. This slightly oversized number works well here, much in the same way I like to wear them, with a bandeau top or bra casually sneaking a peak at the top of the ribs there. Although you do need to be careful, I feel underwear can be taken too literally sometimes. Why make bras in such pretty colours and patterns if nobody but your spouse can see it right before it comes off anyway? We're not all nuns, underwear can be seen and not judged! But remember I'm here to help and to be brutally honest - learn your size and shape and dress for it. Nobody's the same dimensions as that glossy Topshop mannequin in all sorts of unsightly positions! 

I'm enjoying the navaho sweater mixed with - shorts - I'm assuming... it will be a nice way to take the aztec craze we've all bought into over the winter through to spring and summer. Let's face it, this is Britain, we can never truly pack away our winter warmers! Best to cut our losses and just take some layers off!

What is it?

Exactly. What is it? It's not just clothes, or any one thing for that matter. If you do it right it's who you are. And by that I don't necessarily mean it's something you can do wrong, unless of course, it doesn't show you in the correct light or doesn't represent the person you are underneath. By all means let it shape you, but don't falsely imprison it. Ultimately, styles are the tactile, manmade snowflakes that belong to each and every one of us... no two are the same, and no matter what you do, you'll never grasp someone else's and keep it for yourself.

Like I said, it's more than just clothes. For starters think of all the words that can precede style: Fashion style, hairstyle, lifestyle, make up style, decor style... hell, we even have relationship styles. It's a never ending, ever changing thing. That's what's so great about it, you don't get the chance to get bored, and with any luck your style will grow and grow.

The choices we make define who we are. Now I'm not just talking about the superficial things here such as fashion and the little things some of us create our lives around. I mean the attitude we take at school, what path we choose to venture down when we leave school, whom we choose to spend our lives with, and most importantly, what we choose to do with our lives. The people around us play a huge role in these decisions as well, sometimes unbeknown to us as it's embedded in our minds to please others.

Which leads me to my next point - I realise some people are intimidated by this idea of owning a style, and some believe they don't have one, or wouldn't know what to do with one if it was handed to them on a plate. The trick is don't be afraid. Everyone starts with their eyes and their thoughts... just do what the hell you like, you'll soon learn!

I do love clothes and fashion and all things to do with visual style, however there is more in my brain than aesthetics. And this blog shall be my ventilation!